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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227375">The Fear of Death Follows</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmallPenguin19/pseuds/SmallPenguin19'>SmallPenguin19</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Avatar State, Bittersweet, Discussion of Death, F/M, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Older Age, POV: Aang, Secrets, Self-Reflection, Tea, Zutaraang Week 2020, a lot of discussion of death, established relationships - Freeform, set in Aang's sixities</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:47:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,573</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227375</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmallPenguin19/pseuds/SmallPenguin19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For Zutaraang Week 2020 Day 1: Jealousy<br/>Zutaraang Week 2020 Day 2: Secrets<br/>Zutaraang Week 2020 Day 3: Avatar State<br/>Zutaraang Week 2020 Day 4: Tea</p><p>Aang begins to feel his mortality and reflects on the turmoil preventing him from completing successful meditations on the acceptance that death will come for him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aang/Katara (Avatar), Aang/Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Aang/Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Zutaraang Week</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Fear of Death Follows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the first fic of three based on the first 3 Zutaraang week prompts with a focused on Aang's death from Aang's perspective. To follow this will be a complementary piece of artwork. </p><p>The title is derived from a quote by Edward Abbey: "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. One who lives life fully is prepared to die at any time.” Each Chapter and the final art piece is made from a piece of this quote.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The muffled sounds of Katara tidying up the kitchen stirred Aang from his slumber beneath pale orange sheets.  A familiar clink of glasses and plates echoed like notes in the morning air; they were perfectly in tune with Katara’s humming of a traditional Water Tribe melody.  Aang smiled.  The stairwell filtered the sounds just enough to remove the harshness of the clinks and taps, making the sounds more reassuring than grating.  Or, it could be that these sounds were reassuring because of the familiarity of them within their small Republic City house.  These sounds were a key part of the soundtrack to his life with Katara.  </p><p>Usually, Aang was listening to her hum in the kitchen during the second meditation of his day.  However, as of late, he was sleeping for far longer than his wife.  This was a new habit of his, something that ran in contradiction to the preceding decades in which she was the late riser.  When she had worried over his new sleep routine, fearful that he was catching ill, he had eased her tension with the simple answer that his Avatar duties were finally catching up to him and were taking a greater toll on him than they had in the past.  She had seemed appeased by that answer and didn’t push the topic more.  But, his answer was only half the truth. </p><p>Aang rolled over onto his back, opening his eyes to trace the shadows on their pale blue ceiling.  He had painted the ceiling blue for Katara only days after they moved in.  He could still envision himself, holding her by the waist, whispering to her about how the color reminded him of the snow in the South and that he hoped it would give her peace.  The kisses she then showered him with told him it meant so much more to her than simply a bit of peace.  She loved it.  Zuko too once commented that he loved the sentiment of it, and with a chuckle he added that he preferred their blue ceiling to the cold chill of the south pole.  But they both knew they would put up with any bit of cold to be with Katara. </p><p>He took a deep breath and shivered.  Even though his ability to regulate his own body temperature had long been second nature to him, lately he found himself needing to focus more on his breathing in the morning in order to warm himself up.  In fact, if he was willing to admit it, he had to focus a bit harder with all aspects of his bending to achieve even half the force he had just a year ago. </p><p>He focused on the silence, breathing in and out.  In and out.  The fire within him purred warmer until it felt like the normal hum, like the roar of a dragon.  No, wait, that roar was actually from a dragon outside. </p><p>Aang sat up in bed as Druk’s long tail fluttered into view of the window.  Katara stilled in the kitchen.  She must have heard Druk as well.  With effort, Aang rose from the bed, his legs were sore from yesterdays practice with Tenzin.  Practice, turned race.  Which of course Aang won as his son was far more focused on practice than Aang ever was.  Aang always wondered who Tenzin got his seriousness from.  Even Katara, for all her maternal instinct, wasn’t quite as serious as Tenzin. </p><p>Aang stood by the window, placing a hand on his lower back to rub out a sore spot.  He watched as Druk lowered his head, letting Zuko hop off as Katara hurried out to greet him.  She stopped a polite distance away to glance around the courtyard.</p><p>On Air Temple Island they were secluded from the rest of Republic City. They got their privacy here, something they all too often had to fight for.  However, years of hiding their relationship made it only natural to check on your surroundings before embracing your secret lover.  Surely no one could see them here, and even if they did, the triad had agreed that it wouldn’t be all too surprising to see old friends embrace in greeting.  </p><p>Katara put her arms around Zuko, burying her face into his shoulder as she hugged him, their gray hair near identical in shade.  The color was a distinct indicator of the passage of time, their hair now mostly grey with highlights of white.  Katara still had a few strands of her beautiful brown left, but soon she would be as silver as the full moon.  Zuko, however, was now fully gray.  Someone had recently commented on how the gray of Zuko’s top knot reminded them of Uncle Iroh.  When he heard that, Zuko eyes were momentarily dark with despair before he chuckled and with an almost private smile, said “It’s an honor to be told I look anything like Uncle.”  Perhaps, it had been Sokka who had made that comment. </p><p>Aang’s gaze dropped down to the way Zuko’s hands held Katara’s back in the embrace.  Zuko’s hands were almost hungry in how they pressed against the fabric of her shirt, bunching up the blue cloth between his fingers.  Aang’s own fingertips tingled from recalling that exact same sensation against his own hands.  Whenever he returned from a trip, he would gripped her just the same.  His fingers would be pressed against the ridge of her lower back, placed firmly over toned muscles that sloped into the indent of her spine.  He would graze his thumb against the smooth rise of her hip.  He almost longed to be the one running his hand against her back at this second.  Or perhaps, he rather be her, and tangle his fingers in Zuko’s silky hair, his arms pressed against the muscles of Zuko’s shoulders.  No matter his age, Zuko has always been toned from head to toe and he prided himself in it.  Aang wondered how late into his life Zuko would keep those muscles so firm.  He wished he could count more decades with Zuko and Katara.  He wanted to watch them age further in his arms as he had done for so long now.  He could almost imagine them, decades from now, hair as white as snow, skin softened and wrinkled by time; Zuko and Katara still interlocked as they were right now.  Without him.</p><p>That’s strange, Aang frowned as he realized his thoughts were edged with jealousy.  For years he felt nothing but compersion whenever he saw Katara and Zuko together (aside from their moments of teasing).  There was nothing to be jealous about in their relationship and yet, he felt a deepening twinge in his gut as he watched them.  It was definitely jealous desire.  </p><p>He wanted to be the one running his hand against their backs, cupping his hand against their necks, and looking into their eyes with a smile that was echoed back from the core of their being.  The jealousy was not rising from a lack of receiving such interactions, for he had received plenty in his own turn, but it rose from a place of dark fear.  A sense of knowing, a sense that all too soon he would no longer be able to touch them, to cherish them, to whisper praise and love into their ears and raise goosebumps on their necks.  </p><p>For every morning that grew harder, and every day he lacked desire to complete his Avatar duties, a sense of worry and a cold chill had begun to fill him.  He knew what was causing these feelings and what was making it harder to bend as easily as he had long been able to.  He knew what was happening to him and he meditated on it for the last few weeks, trying to bring himself to peace.  But no amount of meditation would keep quite the small jealous cowfrog within him.  No matter how many times he pushed his face into his hands and reminded himself how lucky he was to have two lovers, who in the end will always have each other even long after he was gone, the jealous cowfrog still croaked.  </p><p>The truth is, Aang was starting to sense that he won’t survive his sixties.  A fact which he was in the process of accepting, but still struggled to fully affirm in his heart.  No length of mediation had yet quieted the jealous cowfrog that croaked within him and stop him from asking the spirits to let him have the same amount of years left with Zuko and Katara as they would certainly have with each other.  He would tell himself that he should feel lucky to have found them.  And he did feel incredibly lucky, especially when he reminded himself that the spirits blessed him with the security that neither Katara nor Zuko would ever be alone or without love.  Katara had their children, she had her village, and she would have Zuko.  Zuko had his daughter, her own wife, and Katara.  He was thankful for that.  So, so thankful.  But no degree of thankfulness would ever fully quench the jealously in him that Zuko and Katara will spend a few more decades together.  It wasn’t that Aang wanted to spend more time with just Katara or just Zuko.  No, what he wanted was to be with both of them for years, decades, even centuries to come.  He was jealous of the almost guaranteed longevity of their time with each other, and disappointed that sooner rather than later he simply wouldn’t be able to physically stay with them any longer.  In some moments of reflection, he even felt frustrated with his own body for not being able to hold out longer.  But having been locked in the Avatar State for a hundred year had taken its toll on him, and he had begun to pay the price. </p><p>Zuko released Katara, and the two turned to walk into the house.  Zuko looked back a Druk, saying something to the Dragon before following Katara inside.  Their movement shook Aang from the jealousy engulfing him. </p><p>No, he reminded himself, no matter how I feel, I need to cherish my time with them.  He was an air nomad after all.  Air nomads were accepting of death and life’s impermanence as death is simply a part of the cycle of life.  He was also the Avatar, destined to be reborn, and luckily for his future self, he was married to the best water bender teacher around.</p><p>He turned from the window, his quickness returning to him with childish glee as he headed down the stairs to make some not-too-funny quip to Katara and Zuko.  A comment that would get a pity chuckle from Katara, and an eye roll from Zuko.  If time was short, then he wanted to make it sweet with them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. From the Fear of Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aang wants to ensure one thing before he passes on.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Zuko arrived, he told Aang and Katara that he would definitely be staying the weekend, and if he could manage it, barring any surprise interruption, he would stay a few more days.  That news alone gave Aang more strength than he had in weeks.  Moments were more precious than ever to him now.  Every day he could spend with Zuko and Katara were more valuable than anything the city could ever offer him, to include the time someone offered him free Avatar Aang custards for life.  </p><p>Aang and Katara had been looking forward to this weekend as Zuko’s visit coincided with a weekend when all three kids were out of the house.  This was a rare event as Tenzin was still living at home.  However, he had insisted on trying to live a weekend alone at the big temple on Air Temple Island as “he was the one to inherit it’s legacy” and “wanted to try out what inheriting the legacy would feel like.”  Aang wondered if Tenzin sensed how Aang was feeling lately, but Tenzin said nothing else to indicate he did.</p><p>The tiredness had been building for the last few months.  Months of meditation had finally convinced Aang to accept his gut’s sense that he was aging far faster than he expected.  He noticed it in his agility and in his bending, to include the water bending exercises Katara and him did most mornings.  She had been concerned until Aang shrugged it off saying “Katara, you are the best water bender I know. I may be the Avatar, but your mastery of water bending exceeds what I could do with it outside of the Avatar state.”  After mulling his words over, she accepted it as a reasonable explanation.</p><p>Aang had been hoping to keep his advanced aging a secret.  He didn’t want to worry anyone, and certainly not when he was a key figure in Republic City and in maintaining the peace that he had worked so carefully to create.  Still, he had been in contact with the White Lotus for a few weeks now.  He had decided it would be crucial to plan for the safe keeping of his successor until he or she was of age and trusting the White Lotus with the task seemed like the best option.  All of this planning was another secret he was keeping from Katara. </p><p>Not that he wanted to be keeping so many secrets from her.  He just didn’t want to worry her. He wanted to peacefully enjoy every moment with her, without the weight of looming death hanging over both their heads.  Unlike Air Nomads, she had not been taught to be openly accepting of life’s impermanence and he knew she would be devastated when his time did come.  He still remembered the way she cried when Gran-Gran passed.  How she hid her sadness behind extended hours practicing different water bending techniques.  It had taken her some time to fully recover.  The same could be said about Zuko, at least in their private interactions.  When Uncle Iroh passed, Zuko showed his nation a stoic face with just enough emotion to demonstrate to them how important Iroh was to him and the Fire Nation as a whole.  But in private Zuko bounced between quiet tears and frustrated fire bending practiced that lasted long into the evening.  Aang was aware that he should mention what he knew to the two of them.  But he wanted more time with them without a gray cloud hanging over them.  He didn’t want them to prematurely mourn him, or to be cautious with what activities they do together.  Aang wanted to be able to spend the best possible last days with both of them, without fear holding them back from living.  But the more plans he made with the White Lotus, the more he felt like he couldn’t keep these secrets from either of them for long.  </p><p>Katara’s smile was radiant as she sat out a tea kettle and cups for the three of them.  Zuko offered to heat the water and had brought along some of Uncle Iroh’s favorite teas.  The reverence in his face was peaceful and loving as he prepared the tea for them. </p><p>How could Aang worry them with his fears?  He should tell them but maybe one more peaceful, worriless weekend wouldn’t hurt.  But then, he had been asking for one more of everything lately.  How long could he keep asking?</p><p>After a long afternoon talking, and spending time together Katara rose from the couch, untangling her hands from Zuko and Aang, and took a much-needed stretch. </p><p>“I want to check on Tenzin before dinner.” She said. Aang smiled at her with a look of love that was palpable. </p><p>“We’ll walk with you. It would be good to stretch our legs.” Zuko offered, rising from the couch as well.</p><p>Aang sighed dramatically.  “Aren’t you getting too old for walks?” </p><p>“Speak for yourself, Avatar,” Zuko sniped back, giving Aang’s raised feet a teasing push off the couch. </p><p>“I thought we were relaxing!” Aang defended, rising to his feet. </p><p>“A walk is relaxing,” Katara answered, pulling a pale blue shawl off the hat rack by the door.  It was one of her favorites for Republic City.  A cozy lightweight shawl with the Water Tribe insignia stitched onto the hem of the fabric.  “You love walks, Aang.”</p><p> </p><p>He smiled as he followed her out the door.  “Yeah, you’re right, sweetie.”</p><p>She was right, he treasured going for walks with them.  Mostly because he loved being with them.  He loved the way the sun kissed their skin, he adored Katara’s comments on the water every time she caught a glimpse of it as they walked around the island.  But he also just wanted time to slow down and let each precious moment hang in the air just a bit longer, like the humidity does during summers in the Fire Nation Capital. </p><p>They walked along the stone path Aang had made when he first designed the island.  He had set their home on the western side so that the sunsets would be visible through their windows and the sunrise wouldn’t wake Katara before she was ready.  Tenzin was staying in one of the main temple dorms, up higher on the island by the large temple.  The triad walked together, joking a little and reflecting on how beautiful the paths had become over time.  When they got to the temple Aang and Zuko hung back while Katara hurried up to the dormitory to check on Tenzin.</p><p>Watching her hurry reminded Aang of a younger girl.  A girl he was quickly charmed by.  There were shades of her younger self in Katara, but most of her had evolved into the mother she was now.  The matriarch of the last of the Air Nomads.  He could still remember that girl who had worried over him, who always pulled him back from the Avatar state when he was upset.  The girl who he wanted to protect, but who was plenty capable of protecting herself.</p><p>“Zuko,” Aang said.</p><p>Zuko, who was looking up at the temple, turned to Aang, with a quizzical look.</p><p>“Will you promise me that you’ll always be there for her?”  Aang’s tone was dramatically different from the cheerful mood they were all just sharing.</p><p>Zuko gave a surprised chuckle. A frown contoured Zuko’s eyebrow, his eyes softened as he met Aang’s.  “Of course, I will. Why are you asking me that? Do you think I won’t?”</p><p>Aang gave a short snort.  He let his cheery tone slip away entirely to a serious, almost sad voice when he answered him. “You know I won’t live forever Zuko.”</p><p>His frown faded to concern. “Aang, why are you talking like this?”</p><p>“I’ve been with Katara for the majority of her life. If something where to happen to me now… I know she has the kids, don’t get me wrong, but I want to make sure you’re there too.”</p><p>“I’ll always be here Aang.  For both of you.  Both.  Of you.” Zuko took a step closer to Aang, placing a hand on his cheek to turn his face to meet his more squarely. “This has always been about the three of us and even when only two of us could meet – I have always enjoyed that time together in the same way that I enjoy it when it is the three of us. I will be here for you for your whole life, and I will be there for her, for her whole life. That’s how this works.” He had a quiet, bitter laugh in his voice as he added, “Even if you pushed me out of your lives. I will always be here to support you the moment you ask. It will always be the both of you.”</p><p>Aang had been holding his breath, until Zuko finished.  Usually, when Zuko made those self-deprecating comments suggesting he wasn’t worthy of their love forever, Aang would remind him again and again that they would always love him.  At this point in their relationship, Zuko would more often make a comment like that in order to start a back and forth over how much they loved each other.  But today Aang couldn’t even find the words.  Suddenly, his nerves flashed sadness through his veins like ice water, fed by the secret worries he had been carrying.  There was also a fair amount of guilt and disappointment in himself because no Air Nomad should be concerned about death.  After all death is simply a part of the cycle of life.  With a shuddering inhale he grabbed Zuko tightly in a hug, burying his face into his shoulder. </p><p>“Aang, what’s wrong?” Zuko asked softly, his arms were firm on Aang’s back, holding him to him.</p><p>Aang inhaled Zuko’s scent, a smell like campfire, but warmer and less smoky. He let his mind fill with only Zuko.  Zuko, the dark-haired man who stole his heart long ago behind a blue mask.  Then he exhaled, as if releasing him.  He didn’t want to worry him.  He just wanted to hear him promise that he’ll be here, because Aang knew Katara would always be there for Zuko.  Ultimately, all Aang wanted was for the two to be together long after he passed.  This would be enough for Aang – hearing Zuko promise that he would be there.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. One who lives life fully is prepared</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aang (unintentionally) enters the Avatar State in hopes of easing his stress about his own mortality.</p><p>For Zutaraang week prompt: Avatar State</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a super delayed update for Zutaraang week, but it is the third installment of this series. </p><p>I don't think I mentioned this before (and I will go back to add it to the first chapter now) but the title is taken from this quote by Edward Abbey: "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. One who lives life fully is prepared to die at any time."</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The morning air was crisp off the water that lapped the sheer rock face below Aang.  The sun started to crest the horizon, placing thin strains of gold on the crests of the foggy water.   Aang’s mind had been racing all weekend as he considered telling Katara and Zuko about how he had been feeling the last few days.  All his stress over the conundrum had given him enough strength to actually get up for an early morning meditation.  He sat with legs folded, hands together, and took in a deep inhale of the salty air.  The salt he inhaled sent a shiver down his spine.  He focused on the sensation.  The arrows on his arms glowed white.</p><p>When he opened his eyes, he realized he had entered the Avatar State and was now in the Spirit World.  A familiar face, framed with dark brown hair, and marked with a pale blue arrow, greeted him with a polite smile.</p><p>“Yangchen!”</p><p>“Hello Aang,” She bowed to him.  “It’s nice of you to visit me in the Spirit World.”</p><p>They were standing in a bright green forest that thinned as it approached a rocky cliff edge a few yards before Aang.  Someone had built a small sandstone building complete with an open tiled patio on the edge of the cliff.  It was complete with some cushions and a few small tables.  A number of small flying spirits milled around.</p><p>Aang did not intend to travel into the spirit world this morning.  Nor did he intend to seek Yangchen, but perhaps she was exactly who he needed to talk to at the moment.</p><p>“Come, sit with me” Yangchen gestured to a set of cushions set on the edge of the cliff.  As Aang stepped closer to the edge he saw that the patio overlooked a lush jungle that covered the valley below.  The mountains far beyond the jungle were carved of purple stone and touched by white clouds.  The colors of the mountains and jungle were mimicked in the cushions that decorated the patio.  He took a seat besides Yangchen on an emerald green pillow.</p><p>“Is there something on your mind, Aang?” Yangchen asked, her hands resting peacefully on her lap.</p><p>As Aang focused his thoughts he watched flashes of the spirits pop above the trees before diving back into the cover.  He took a deep inhale, this was his chance to talk through his doubts.</p><p>“Have you ever had moments of doubt in yourself, not as an Avatar but as an Air Nomad?” Aang was hesitant to meet her eyes.  But in the seconds after he spoke and as silence crept in between them, he chanced a look. </p><p>Yangchen’s expression was neutral and introspective.  She sighed and met his gaze, “Of course.  If you remember, decades ago you had asked me for advice on how to fight Ozai given the Air Nomad belief that we should never take a life.  I told you that as the Avatar you are bound to protect the people of the four nations.  Ah, well now there are also those who belong to that city you founded.”  She paused for a moment, perhaps to catch Aang’s reaction to the mention of Republic City. </p><p>A proud smile crossed his face.  He was proud of Republic City, of having aided in making a safe place for the nations to come together.  He was proud of the peace he was able to finally bring to the world.</p><p>“Of course, at the time when you asked me what to do with the Fire Lord I had reminded that you must complete your Avatar duties before you meet your spiritual needs.  Air Nomad culture believes that we must transcend this space when our time comes, and being able to transcend is the greatest honor.  As you now know well, the challenge we face as Air Nomad Avatar’s is that we have a duty both to uphold our culture’s beliefs and to the people of all nations.  Unfortunately, we cannot fulfill everything expected of us as both Avatar and Air Nomad.  There are time’s where we must be either the Avatar or the Air Nomad.  Of course, that is challenging, you know that very well.” </p><p>To this, Aang’s expression fell.  He knew that struggle to a painful depth.</p><p>“It is also the greatest gift for us.  We are taught these truths which aid in our decision making as Avatars.  Truths which include an inherent respect for others and the world.  I used the Air Nomad teachings to guide me through all of the biggest challenges I faced in my time.  But like you, there were time’s where I doubted my own choice, that picking my Avatar duties over my Air Nomad beliefs was wrong or shameful.  But, this feeling is only natural.  In the end, we are the Avatar before we are Air Nomads.  We must uphold our duties, even if it presents us with challenges that go against what we are taught.  As long as the ultimate goal is aligned with the Air Nomad beliefs, and as long as we stay as true as possible to the teachings of our nation, then everything will be fine.”</p><p>“Everything?” Aang asked, his eyes tracing the trees beyond the small fence.  Soon he too will end up on this side of the spirit world to guide the next Avatar from afar.  That idea made him nervous.  But he shouldn’t be.  That’s not how Air Nomad’s were taught to feel about death.</p><p>“Yes.  Aang, you have made our people proud, in your continuation of our heritage and in completing and prioritizing your Avatar duties.  No matter the challenges you face, you will still be an Air Nomad.  We have not failed our nation for having upheld our Avatar duties.”</p><p>Aang waited a few moments to digest her words.  As he did he watched a round yellow spirit pop up from the trees briefly before diving back down.  Aang closed his eyes for just a moment as he worked up the courage to ask his next question.</p><p>“Yangchen.  I’ve started to realize that I may be nearing the end of my life.”  He looked over at her now, meeting her eyes with his serious ones.  Her expression was neutral.  “And despite all of my Air Nomad training, I am still nervous.  I know we are taught to expect, even welcome death when it comes and to not fear for its arrival.  Death comes for us all, it can come at any time and so we must be ready.  I have been ready so many times.  But now that I can feel it happening to me, I want to resist it.  I want more time.”  He didn’t add that he wanted more time with Katara or Zuko or his children.  That was more selfish of him than he wanted to admit.</p><p>Her eyes soften, and a look of pain filled them for just a moment, before she closed her eyes with a sigh.  Her next expression was of understanding.  “You are not the only Air Nomad Avatar to have been concerned about this, and surely not the last.  There have been only a few who were able to avoid this trial.  I think most of us have faced this challenge.  You promise yourself to protect the peace, you dedicate your life to protecting people.  But do not forget you will be reborn to protect the world once more.  We have the clearest promise of reincarnation.  We are guaranteed to return again to uphold the mantle as Avatar.  No one else gets that clear of a guarantee.”</p><p>She was quiet for a moment, staring back at Aang before adding.  “As an Air Nomad, you have been taught from birth, even before you have even seen someone die, that death is simply a part of life.  It can come at any time.  Life and its moments are precious, and in them they are also impermeant.  Every moment is fleeting.  Every moment is a gift to us, to have once again evaded death.”</p><p>Aang swallowed in a nervous gesture before admitting, “I suppose my concern is that I feel too young to die.”</p><p>Yangchen’s expression softened.  “So was Kuruk.”</p><p>“Of course,” Aang tried to correct himself.  He knew as much.  Kuruk had only half the time he did.</p><p>“You spent a very long time in the Avatar State when you were young.  That took a toll.”</p><p>“It did.”</p><p>“If you hadn’t done so, your life would have been very different.”</p><p>Aang hung his head.</p><p>“But we know that isn’t the case.  The world is the way it is for a reason, and I know you have gained much by having stayed in the Avatar State for so long.”</p><p>“I have.”  Aang immediately thought of Katara, holding their children, and of Zuko, in both shades of Fire Lord and his boyfriend.</p><p>“We are lucky to experience every precious moment we have.  You are lucky, because you are well aware of your own demise.  Like every Air Nomad, you know we do not live forever, that life is impermanent, that death will come when it wants.  As Avatar you can feel your own mortality with heightened acuity and in that ability to sense your mortality you have one blessing that few other’s can truly claim.”</p><p>Aang met her eyes again.</p><p>“You have time.” Yangchen, in all her grace, smiled at him. “You do not fail your nation for having a moment of doubt. You are human and you are bound to the world in order to protect it.  Every person, Avatar or no, Air Nomad or no, has moments of self-doubt, when a new challenge arises.  Those moments of doubt are different in length for all of us.  For many well-trained Air Nomads, doubt is barely a fleeting second.  They are trained to understand the circumstances, accept that they cannot change them, and move on.  As Avatar you are told to change the circumstances for the betterment of the world.  This training presents as a challenge to your Air Nomad heritage but it doesn’t make you less of an Air Nomad.  You can meet this challenge on equal footing because all your life you have faced surprises are rose above them.  This.  This is no surprise.  Your whole life has led to this moment today and it will continue tomorrow.  In the end, you pass on the role to the next Avatar, and that in itself is a blessing.”</p><p>A bit of tension left Aang.  Perhaps all he needed to hear was another Air Nomad tell him he wasn’t a failure to their people for his worries. </p><p>“This is just another challenge, but not without an answer.  You should approach this as you have with all other challenges.”</p><p>Aang looked up at the sky above them, a swirling mix of pastels.  <em>To do as I have with other challenges?</em></p><p>“Thank you Yangchen.” Aang looked back at her. Her hands still relaxed on her folded legs, calm and peaceful.  “This discussion has been insightful.  I will certainly approach this as I have with other challenges.  This next step must begin with clear discussion.”</p><p>“Do not worry Aang,” Yangchen added.  “You have done so much.  You are determined, but also compassionate.  Everything will end well, I am sure.  As long as you remember to never take a moment for granted.”</p><p>“Oh, I won’t.” Aang smiled, rising from his seated position.  He bowed, his hands folded in Air Nomad respect.  Yangchen did the same.</p><p>The spirit world faded to the softened light of the morning.  The water lapped below Aang, familiar, like a tune he heard sung often.  He knew what he should do now.  It was no longer time to keep secrets.  He needed to confront this new challenge the way he did with nearly all of his challenges.  He needed to discuss it with his greatest allies.  He needed to sit down and talk with Zuko and Katara.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading this far! I hope you liked it. I have always found it absolutely heartbreaking to think of Aang dying at only 65. Sure he had a long, productive, fruitful life, but it still hurts so bad. Writing this set of stories helped me get over that heartbreak. It was therapeutic, as if I accepted it when I wrote Aang's acceptance of his mortality. I hope it didn't feel like he jumped from doubt to acceptance.</p><p>Also, I wrote a little epilogue to this set of stories + the art piece in the next chapter. I will be posting it as a stand alone story. It's a very different vibe, more uplifting. Also, a bit impossible? Ah, but this is fan fiction.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. To Die At Any Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Aang has passed.  But even if he is gone from this world, Zuko and Katara will always feel him near them.</p><p>For Zutaraang week 2020: Tea prompt</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is set as a sort of conclusion to the previous three chapters. </p><p>Also on my Tumblr</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p> </p><p>[Image description: Various Teas were used to making a portrait of Zuko and Katara standing at a marker for Aang outlined in orange ink. Below them is a pond in which their reflection is visible with Aang hugging them in blue ink.] </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. One who lives life fully is prepared to die at any time.” - Edward Abbey.</p><p> Each Chapter and the final art piece is made from a piece of this quote.</p><p>Special thanks to the Zutaraang discord for motivating me to write and finish this. You all are wonderful!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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